The emotions are adaptive and are there to help, but many times, you see how they control us and end up being a problem. That is why we have to learn to control emotions effectively so that they serve us something and help us in our day-to-day lives and in personal relationships.
One of the pillars of what today is called emotional intelligence consists precisely in controlling emotions and learning from them. It is not about repressing or suppressing certain emotions, but about understanding them and making them ours to help us move forward.
Understanding your own emotions and those of others is the first step to be able to control them and use them for your benefit. It may be difficult for us to realize the emotions of others and even more of our own. Sometimes we don’t know why someone is making us angry, why we suddenly feel upset, sad, or happy. That is why it is important to know yourself and get to the point where we clearly know what happens to us when we feel a certain way. You can look for a book that tells you about basic emotions, their adaptive function, and how they make us feel. It is a good start to learning about emotions. You should also practice with yourself and with others, trying to know how you feel and how others feel at all times. It is not easy but like everything, you can learn and train. Knowing our emotions makes it easier for us to know how to behave and how to channel and use them.
Practice positive self-criticism
Sometimes we must be critical of ourselves to know what we can be doing wrong or what are the emotions that always dominate us. Knowing yourself goes through knowing your strengths and weaknesses. With the positive term, we mean that you criticize everything you may be doing wrong and that you have to improve, but from a positive point of view, to change it. Being critical of yourself without reaching a conclusion may not be beneficial as it creates bad feelings. But if we do it in order to improve, it is always positive.
All emotions are positive
We may have been taught over the years to avoid emotions that are supposed to be negative, like sadness or anger. But the truth is that emotions exist because they are adaptive in nature and in our social relationships. If they are mishandled, they stop being adaptive to become a problem, but we have to think that all emotions have something positive from the beginning. That is why it is good to identify how we feel and why.
Your lifestyle matters
It is highly recommended that to better manage and understand your emotions, you lead a healthy lifestyle that helps you be more positive and channel negative energy better. Eating healthy is essential, but we also highly recommend daily physical exercise. Playing sports is always beneficial, as it makes us feel better, clears our mind, and is even proven to help us solve problems more effectively. There are so many benefits of doing sports that we should not put it aside, because it is also closely related to our emotions.