You might be feeling that the title is a little bit off and you might be feeling a little more defensive but sorry to tell you it is so true. What is wrong with sharing your troubles?
Sharing what is troubling you is not wrong. It helps in loosening yourself or be able to get some comfort at least for a while. A regular person might be having a hard time in his studies, his finances, his love life, and a lot more. BUT, it could go terribly wrong and could affect other people more than they should if they are experiencing these:
Constant Repetition of the Same Story
This is by far the most annoying part of listening to other people’s troubles. The story gets repeated several times in different conversations. It could be that the reason behind this is to give emphasis about how the sharer feels. Whatever the reason behind the repetition, be aware that this annoys your listener. Even your closest friend is just feigning his patience!
Remembering a Certain Friend Only When Troubled
Do you have someone in your life who suddenly remembers you when he or she needs someone to talk to? If you do, then I could just assume that you might be one good listener. I do not know how frank you could get but you might as well be able to tell that person to ring someone else for a change.
Messaging While at Work
You could have said the lines “Talk to me when you needed someone ” to any of your friends and you suddenly realized how wrongly delivered your real meaning was. One good friend would be willing enough to spare time listening to a friend who is in dire need of someone to talk to but simply not during working hours. Since you failed to make your schedule of availability clear enough then you somehow implied that you are available anytime.
Resistant to Suggestions
Sometimes, it is not clear why someone is sharing life’s troubles with others but whether it is intentionally meant or not, the listener would usually give his suggestion to solve whatever the trouble was about. If you are the one sharing and you keep on resisting a friend’s suggestions, chances will be, that friend would grow tired listening to you.
Our troubles are ours to solve. Telling someone about them could be the best thing to do to make yourself feel better but do not forget to at least establish control within yourself. If you think more about it closely, the person you intend to share your troubles with could also be going through something, right?
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